Wednesday, January 19, 2011

My Mother vs The Sanctity of Life

Now before anyone gets all uppity about this post, please bear in mind that this particular post wasn't even my idea. It was my mother's. During one of our rambling sessions about reproduction and choice, she made a very interesting point and asked me to use her as an example in a blog post. Here is my mom's story and how it pertains to abortion and the sanctity of life.

Right at thirty years ago, my seventeen year old mother learned that she was pregnant for the first time. The news was recieved with much joy and nervousness. She wasn't nervous for the reasons you might think that a seventeen year old would be in this situation: she had learned from her doctor months prior that she had a uterine disorder that would severely complicate her ability to carry a pregnancy to term. By severely, he meant that it would probably never happen. Mom, in her youthful vigor, decided to try. It turned out that the complications in this particular pregnancy would be trying to get me out of her (I proved quite stubborn even inutero). And on August 10th, 1981 I, in all my Leonine ferocity, was presented to the world.

She, and I, were lucky.

Mom went on to get pregnant many more times. "Many" being approximately 19 0r 20. Five of us lived. It seemed that Mommy had become a one-woman example of the study proving that 80% of pregnancies essentially terminate themselves (http://tinyurl.com/63p34wn).

The majority of antichoicers will look at women who repeatedly try to have children and suffer miscarriages with sympathy, stating that "at least they're TRYING to bring life into the world" or some such dismissiveness. But the simple facts are that my mother had prior knowledge of her (in)abilities when it came to carrying a pregnancy and still kept at it regardless off the numerous spontaneous abortions that she knew could (and would) take place.

I suppose my question to the antichoice is this: what makes my mother's case so much "better" than that of women who seek one or two abortions in their lives? She, herself, argues that her reproductive decisions cost more "lives" than the decisions of any woman who opted to terminate a pregnancy. This, cats and kittens, coming from a woman who has never had an induced abortion and miscarried 14-15 wanted pregnancies.

So in the arguement of "saving lives", would you have chosen to remove my mother's reproductive freedom as she ran such a high risk of spontaneous abortion? After all, if abortion "kills a child", by your own logic my mother is a serial killer.

No. I, of course, do not think my mother is a serial killer. And I'm certain that the antichoice are going to claim that they don't either, and they'll claim to "take such pity on this woman". But this is what their logic aims at: criminalizing and demonizing women for having reproductive control. The control women have to not be pregnant and, in the case of my mom, the control she had to keep getting pregnant.

5 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing this story. Very interesting point of view that I did not think of. Reminds me of my own mother, who was told after her first child she would not be able to carry any more but also kept trying, to the tune of a dozen miscarriages. Finally my dad got a vasectomy and they adopted myself and my little brother. I never looked at it from this perspective and it is indeed a compelling one. Kudos to you and to your mom.

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  2. it had actually never occured to me either. it really was all mom's. i can't even remember what i'd said specifically (obviously abortion related), but she just asks (directed at antis' hatred for women who have abortions), "so what about me? i knew i'd have those miscarriages when i got pregnant.it's really no different!"

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  3. Nice! If the souls of all of those par-baked humanons are up in heaven, as some claim, they are partying with those who's development was halted in other ways too.

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  4. Wow, this was very thought provoking and honestly cause me to think about the similarities and diffrences between induced and spontaneous abortions.

    It really brings to mind the question of God and His will. If God forms each child so perfectly in the womb, then why oh why are there so many miscarriages of wanted pregnancies.
    Why does God give children to those who don't nor may ever want them, and yet withholds them from those who would love to be a parent?
    This is why I am convinced God simply has a bigger picture in mind.

    I am really interested in the kind of responses you get from the anti side.

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  5. we'll have to bump mom's number a little bit now. she informed me a bit ago that she apparently had two ectopic pregnancies after her tubes were tied too. 21-22 pregnancies, 16-17 spontaneous abortions.

    Shamed Girl, i'd like to think so! or, as my pagan friend believes, they either reincarnate in the wombs of other prospective mothers or simply wait until the first woman is ready for them to come back. i think any of these theories are lovely ones!

    i fully agree, ProSanity. if every life is so precious to God, why would there be such a high rate of miscarriage. i mean eight-fucking-percent!! are only one in five potential children the "precious ones"? and if God is so (hypothetically) selective with the caliber of life forms on Earth, why do we have so many terrible people? it's a torturous circle of endless questions.

    only one anti has bothered replying to me, on a completely different blog (the now abandoned Thoughts of a Constantly Evolving Girl). but it was Captain Douchery (James), so i didn't even bother replying.

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